Entries for May, 2005

Amazing Grace
Posted by Revolving_Drum at 02:36 PM on May 5, 2005

I wasn’t active these past few days because of one thing- death.
It’s hard when a person you’ve been with dies out of the blue but maybe I expected this to happen. She was weak, she was dying and she can’t move perhaps what happened was a fitting end to her suffering.

Nanay

We used to call her and I was trying to reminisce the days that have spent with her. A part of my life was together with her in our house in Kamuning near E. Rodrigues, this was a dark part of my life where we fled from our house in Project 4.(Sorry I don’t want to go to specifics)

She was already paralyzed back then because of a major heart attack that happened years ago. She can’t still talk during that time and knowing me I would usually play with her. I remember how mischievous I was, always making “loko” by telling her that “The Abu Sayaf is about to raid the house” then I would kid her about spiders, that they were crawling on her feet. She was a good grandmother who despite her inabilities had the urge and the heart to go on. Probabaly she is with Carol Wytolja right now making ginataan for them and all the other people in the other world, hopefully.

Such memories are still alive but she is gone. The funeral was like bittersweet symphony it was sad and lonesome but at least it bonded most of my “angkan” together something, which hasn’t happened for a year. And I believe that her suffering was already too great. She wasn't able to talk, nor even walk but what grieves me the most is that she smiled before she died and maybe this was a sign that despite her suffering she loved her life and it's just heartbreaking that she had to leave. But death came for her that day and we can stop him. I just wished that someone she loved was there by her side during her last minutes and seconds in earth but there was no one but her helper, its sad but I know my mother, my titos and titas didn't want that scenario to happen.

Death really is something scary. I wouldn’t act like I am not afraid of it because in reality I am, just like any bloke in the streets. During this whole burial phase I was in places I didn’t want t go near too- the funeral house, funeraria paz and the cemetery in Crame. I guess I am allergic to death and I don’t want to go near anything that tries to remind me of it.

I realized now that handle death and sadness much differently from other people. While others cry themselves to desperation I would just suppress the memories of that person until the time of mourning ends. I just don’t want people seeing me cry, I don’t want them to see my weakness. Because in reality I mourn the same as them but I just conceal it in different layers of myself turning this sorrow into something different, - into laughter, silence or just any other emotion which could conceal the fact that I am hurt as well.

Death is shit but it’s as necessary as shit.

5/5/5

It's 555 today and I had a can of 555 sardines, weird.






Comments : 12 Into Memories
Something is Wrong
Posted by Revolving_Drum at 06:33 AM on May 9, 2005

I feel sick but I still act normal, especially when my brothers are here. I just don't want to worry them. I really don't know what's wrong. Ah cut the crap I know exactly what it is but I just hope I am wrong.





Comments : 3 Into Memories
Tower To The Moon
Posted by Revolving_Drum at 05:24 AM on May 10, 2005

Tower To The Moon


She came pounding on my door that night, the rain dropping hard to the ground. I could hear the sound of the trickling rain back then further muffled by the loud and banging sound of the music my neighbor was playing. The knocks, the rain and the music they were all tearing me up. I wanted to sleep but what the heck did she want?

“George” she shouted, still knocking on the door,” open up!”

I replied with a sigh, trying to fix my messed dreads and then I opened the door and she came falling into the house, taking me down to my Morrocan carpeted floor.

We fell together to the ground, her wet skin closing into mine. I could feel her breath on my neck, sending shivers not only to my spine but also to my other head, the sweet scent of his perfume still lingering on my nostrils that I could hardly help to feel different about her.

“George!”

She shouted, slapping me on the cheeks as she wrestled me further on the ground.

“What are you doing you twit?” I said with an agitated voice.

“Keep you’re tool away from me,” she said while touching my dreads, curling them up as if a sign of seduction. ”Can’t you think anything other than sex?”

“Huh?” I stammered as I pulled her away.” You’re the one who came barging in the night with the wet profile.” I looked at her again and started to pause. I saw what every man dreamed of, it was a slight bulge on her white shirt protruding quite nicely for everyone to see. I felt like I was drifting from this place and what greeted me was titty heaven.

Slap

Seconds pass and a large slapping sound came banging on my face and the object hit was my cheeks.

“Ouch!” I shouted, “What did you do that for?”

“Well, you’re doing it again.” She said, trying to dry of her clothes,” Stop staring, you’re acting like a dirty old man.”

I didn’t reply anymore and went away from her. I was had to argue with this woman, she was dead strong with both her hands and mouth. Once we went to this bar in Alberta and these two burly buccaneers came flirting on her but instead of me protecting her, she ended up protecting me with only her feminine fists.

I walked to the kitchen and took out two bottles of fine Vodka Lutonic that I had. These fine Lutinian concoctions were our usual playthings in the night. We would go to drunken revelries during the wee hours and even extending to the morning, just the two of us in euphoric and alcoholic ecstacy.

“Here,” I threw one bottle towards her as she quickly grabs it from the air,” I see you’re all dried up. Now tell me why are you here?” She was suppose to leave today to Prontera with her fiancĂ©e, the rich Morrocan jewel seller who was fat but his pockets was more than enough to compensate for the added baggage that she would need to take in, or so she said.

“It didn’t feel right.” she said, gulping down the bottle of Vodka in just once fast guzzle.

“You mean the money? I thought you wanted to live like a Morrocan princess no matter how fat your king is?”

“No it’s not that, its something else?”

“What else could there be?” I replied.

“You know my dream.” She said, with a kind of hesitation in her voice.

“Those dreams of having four men whip you?” I replied slyly.

“No not that!” she stammered, ”You’re becoming a peeve again. God” She then continued with a sigh, while playing with the empty bottle of Vodka,” I mean that dream about the moon?”

“The moon?” I replied, still not getting what she said. I decided to drink from my bottle then because knowing her this was going to be another long night.

“Yes the moon!” she continued,” You know that dream that I wanted to cross the moon.”
She then threw the bottle to the wall, it shattering it a million pieces and she wasn’t drunk that time she was just trying to be herself, weird and eccentric but lovable and cute as hell. She then pointed to the sky and opened the curtain of the window right beside her, it slowly revealing the light of the rising moon.

“Oh that one!” I said trying to pretend that I knew.

“You know you don’t lie really well.” She with a big pout on her face.” Well it doesn’t matter if you can’t remember. I’ll just tell it to you again.”

I then moved forward and finally sat beside her.

“Now what.”

“Wait,” she thrust her hands towards my face.” I’m trying to gather my thoughts.” She said, while mumbling some mumbo jumbo she got from my monk friend.

“Ok, this struck me while I was leaving Northend. You know I had this dream of this toy soldier once and we were dancing on some weird room with a big fireplace. And you know I loved it so much that I never wanted to wake up but..”

“But what??” I retorted.

“Well that dreamed turned up a nightmare.” she the paused and slowly patted her shoulders,” You see, we were dancing but we fell to the fireplace and we both died.”

“Huh?” I said still not getting what it had to do with the moon,” What’s that got to do with the moon?”

“Would you listen first? Or would you rather my fist explain why.”

“Ok master.” I said sarcastically.

“Good little lunatic,” she then smiled a bit and then glanced at the moon again, its unmidgarly rays striking towards the both of us,” Right after we died, I saw myself swirling into this black abyss and the only thing I could see was the moon.”

“Wow that’s weird,” I paused,” Are you sure you didn’t have mushrooms when that happened.”

“Will you be serious for a second,” she then pressed his hands on the table- pounding on it with a thud.

“Sorry for that, continue.”

“You know why I couldn’t leave this city?”

“Because it so beautiful and you wouldn’t want to leave me here don’t cha? Because you’re so in love with me”

“Yuck, you make me sick but you’ve got one thing correct, I do love this city but more importantly this city is my key to the moon.”

“How could that happen? There isn’t any building that would reach the sky here? Maybe Geffen would be more suitable.”

“But I rather make my own path to the moon.”

For all her weirdness I felt something different with what she said. It wasn’t her usual tomboy nonsense- it was something different. I felt like she talked to me the very first time. Not the layers that she tries to conceal herself with but with what was inside of her. It was her soul who was talking at that time.

“Then I’ll help you.”

“Really!” She shouted and jumped towards, me bringing me down to musty floor again.” You’re a great friend.” She then slowly went close to my head and slowly pecked on my cheeks. I blushed for a while and she then stood up and backed off.

“Let’s start tomorrow.”

I look at my wrist, trying to find out what time it was but I left my watch back in my house. Why weren’t there any clocks in this city? No reminder for anyone who needed time. I sat there on one of the benches, overlooking one of the long canals of the city, which had these beautiful pristine colors, with the shades of glittering blue that it seemed like a river of crystal of some sort. The blue marble flooring of the city further framed this weird serene feeling that I felt like I was floating on water without me getting wet.

“Hey!”

She waved at me from the distance, her faint echo swirling round the place. I could see her running towards me, her white attire framing her in the horizon. I then waved back and stood from my seat.

“What took you so long?” I said, scratching my head out of boredom

“That stupid neighbor of mine warped me to Glastheim.” It was now that I noticed what she really wore. She had this pink Sunday hat on which looked like it was made out of rattan. She also had this pink ribbon tied on her waist, some kind of neo cosmopolitan fashion which I never seen before and to further top her pinkness, she had this pink stilettos which had this different kind of Amatsunese design on it.

The design had these werid inscriptions on it that no normal person would understand. Then her white shirt further framed the cheery color of her attire that she looked like some perky teenybopper who dressed to kill because of the cuteness of what she wore. Frankly she was beautiful as always.

“Whoa, Glastheim.” I replied with amazement ”Never been there.”

“Well it’s overrated, the monsters there where just like thief bugs to me.” She said flexing her “muscles”.

“Yeah right.” I laughed,” Lets just go, there’s much work to do.”

We were going to one of the shops in Northend, which sold different kinds of timber for our little project. And I didn’t want just any kind of trunk; I wanted the “trunk” Not barren, or anything, which is flawed.

We entered this small store. It was a box type building, which only looked like it was fit for only a few people. But despite the apparent size of the shop it was nonetheless beautiful to the eyes. The marble mimicked the waves of the water that it seemed to become lost in the sea of the crystalline canals. The windows also had this different kind of glow, which shined like some kind of diamond within a blanket of fine waves.

We entered the shop and this clingnging sound came rattling through our ears, it was this small bell which was attached to the door to alarm the owner of customers and despite its size it had this loud clanging sound which was so irritable to the ears. I guess this house has very big surprises despite its size.

“Wow” we gasped together.

What greeted us inside was a feast to the eyes. Some kind of human feat which is yet to be seen. Inside that small shop was a grandiose dome like structure, which had this beautiful, and asgardly painting on the roof, depicting the God Baldur in all his majesty which seemed to be so alive that we were both mesmerized at what we saw.

“Is that for real?” I asked looking at the grand structure above.

“I think so…” she paused,” Well, this is my first time here. So I really don’t know.”

“Me too. I wonder why we’ve never been to this place?”

“Probably we were too drunk to mind” We then both laughed.

We moved down the stairs in front of us, walking towards a gallery of old wooden creations. There were different kinds of sculpture, from the menacing looks of a Phenomena to a cutesy little lunatic made from Elder Willow limber, easily spotted because of the circle patterns on the wood itself.

Near one of those creations was a man all robed in black with some eye like patterns on his shoulders. Judging from what he wore, he was probably a Wizard from far away Geffen. He then notices us and he moves quickly to greet us.

“Ah, good morning sir and mademoiselle.” He waved his cape and raised his hands, his head covered by this hood which shadowed his face.” Welcome to the Grand Willow Foundation.”

“We’re delighted,” my friend said.

“Oooh! Welcome fair lady.” Whenever he spoke, he had this accent, which sounded very Geffenese. He then grabbed my friend’s hands and slowly pecked on it, a light kiss, which revealed his face. He was a handsome man, and what struck out was his dreamy eyes which some people say are signs that Baldur blessed this man. My friend only blushed, who wouldn’t?

“No touching,” I said with a angry tone,” She not a merchandise.”

“Oh sorry sir,” he then backed, “ I wasn’t aware that you two were together.”

“What!” my friend shouted,” Who’s together?” she then banged his hands on the Phenomena sculpture, hitting on one of its tentacles.

“You and your dread locked boy friend.”

“What!! Take that back!” she began to blow steam,” Tell him George, we’re just friends!”

I was lost for words. I never knew she’d get this mad. I kinda liked the idea but she didn’t. Further pushing me to sadness. I wondered what went on his head. Sometimes I felt we were closer than anyone in the world but she always pushes me away. And I never have pushed her away. I always kept her close, closer than anyone I knew. I was hurt.

“Fine, we’re not lovers but no one kisses my friend. You hear?” I said with a kind of cheery voice but hidden within that cheeriness was hints of sadness and the word- disappointment. For all the years we’ve been too I always thought we had this special bond but then again, she left me once for a Rich Morrocan guy and now she comes back to me? Why is she making me so miserable?


“Ah I see,” he then bowed, “No more kissing and touching but let me touch your curiosity by showing you my wares.” He then signaled the both of us,” Follow me.”

He led us to this room full of trunks all neatly placed in one huge stack that I could cringe in amazement. Right beside that great stack of wood was a line of Sakkats, laid down on the floor in a straight line. The room itself was very big. It had this peculiar glass like walls but they weren’t glass at all, they were stone.

Hard as rocks but looked so delicate like glass. I could even see my reflection on them. That stunning smile which made chicks swoon, those gorgeous eyes which made any woman cringe, and my proud locks which I have kept for two years. These dreads were my remembrance of my bittersweet past, when I was a bard working on the streets of Comodo.

“The walls are made of emperium.” The wizard said with a stoic voice. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or what but his voice suggested he was serious.

“This place amazes me every second.” My friend was amusing herself with the room, looking at it with utter curiosity. She pranced around the room like a novice girl on some poring eating spree.

“Merci! I was just joking, it’s just made of Jellopy.”

“Darn for a minute there I thought I could ransack this place.” The wizard looked at me with a menacing stare, as if he was ready to strike me with some incantation from his library of spells.

“Can’t you take a joke?” I replied, sweat dropping down my head.

“For a minute there you got me, sir Gregory.”

“Its George”

“Ou? Whatever.” He then paused, “ Here’s the stack of elder willow trunks. Take many as you like and just present them near the exit.”

He then retreated back, towards the room of sculptures.

“Oh don’t forget tis’ Nine Hundred Zenny each. Enjoy” He then waved back and disappeared to the other room.


“Glad he was gone.” My friend replied.

“You didn’t like him, Josephine?” I said with a smirk.

“Nah too creepy for my taste and bah I think I met him somewhere. Just couldn’t put my finger on it.”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s get on with this trunk business so we could start the tower.”

“Good idea! I’ll just rest over there while you get the trunks.” Josephine then moved towards the wooden bench near pile of trunks. And like she was at home, she started to lay down.

“What? You can’t expect me to do all this?”

“You do it! It was your idea anyway?” She then moved sideways from her casual sleeping position. Her feet were all clamped up towards he stomach and her hands hiding her head.

“What?” I shouted, “ My idea???”

She was still laying there on the bench, as if she never heard what I said.

“Well weren’t you the one who said ‘I’ll help you’”

I stammered and was a loss of words.

“So get you butt off and start working.”

Even though I was hesitant on doing this alone but in reality I liked that fact that I’ll be helping her even if she didn’t help at all. Weird isn’t it? And it’s a painful shot at my manhood but I do love pleasing her and wouldn’t want her to become tired, not one single bit. I guess I spoil her too much.

There was even this instance when I did her Dancer test for her. Believe it or not I disguised myself as her and danced in front of the Comodan people while she pleasured herself on the beaches, getting a tan on the warm sun. Like this instance I didn’t mind; I loved it in fact. I just couldn’t understand how I, no she passed the test. I guess I was a good dancer. And because of that incident my friends would usually say that I wasn’t Josephine’s friend, I was either her drinking pal or her butler and the latter happened more frequently.

I toiled away the whole afternoon finding the right trunk for our project. When I finally amassed some 10,0000 trunks I just stood there tired as hell while she patted me on the back and said.

“Good work! Now let’s have a drink”

Followed by a kiss on the cheeks that seemed to melt every pain in my tired body and then in that second everything just turned black. I was dead, dead tired.

I woke up in this black room, which had streaks of white booming across the dark horizon. I saw Josephine. She was same as the room; a mere streak of gray and white but there was something bluish on her eyes- she was crying.

“Go away!”

“Let me free!”

And within that dream I saw the moon rising from her back. It was striking its rays to me, showering me with its light. The light of the moon, the darkness of this place they all framed her in the horizon, as if some goddess who gave hope to man.

“Come back!” I shouted but there were no words that came out only a speckle of distorted sounds. She continued to evade me, running away like I was a serial killer out to get her but I wasn’t- I only wanted to be with her, always. I was trying to pull her back but all she did was to push me away.

I finally stopped, my energy was all wasted and what I saw right there drove me to madness. She was now standing on the peak of the black space, trying to get to the moon. And on the moon was a face of a man. He was wearing a tall and long hat, which was a symbol that he was a soldier. Josephine kept on trying to reach the moon but she couldn’t, it was like something was holding her back. She then faced back, looking at me with her tear-ridden eyes. Her hands moved pointing towards the black ground. I didn’t understand what I saw, it was a leash tied on her neck and the other end was right here on my palm.

“George!” I could hear a man’s voice

“Wake up!”

And then I felt painful thud on my nape. I quickly open my eyes only to be greeted by that wizard we saw earlier, his face pressed on mine. I noticed his freckles, which I didn’t see earlier still he was good looking to say the least.

“What?? What are you doing?” I stammered, demanding to know what has happened.

“We’re having a date, oui?” He said with a sly grin. He was sitting on one of the tables of the g*y bar in Northend. There were two drinks standing on the table, one flimsy glass of dackeries, perhaps it was strawberry because of its pink color and on his side was one bottle of rum.

“What date?” I moved stood up from my seat and moved away.

“This date.” He replied.” You’re friend told me you liked me.”

Not again. Not again. I continued to say in my mind. She did this to me five times before. First, was with this cross dressing priest who got a boob job, which made her look like a girl. Second, was this old muscled knight who almost raped me. Third, was this weird and sick Rogue who I think wasn’t g*y but I believe he had fetishes on people with dreads? Fourth, was this old grandmother, who thought I really liked her and she even proposed to me? What happened when I declined was I getting banned from Izlude. Apparently she was the mayor’s mother. She even had the power to throw me out of the city. And the last was horrible; he wasn’t even human- he was an Orc….

“Sorry, I am not g*y. Goodbye!”

“But..but..but..” he held my hand,” I already paid for the drinks.”

“Really, let’s not waste it then.” I took the glass of dackeries and gulped it all down. The cold and icy drink sent shocks to my head but I didn’t mind I was used to this pain.

“There all finished, goodbye.”

I left that bar and it would really ruin my reputation if anyone saw me so I quickly hid to the shadows, towards the empty alleys near the bar.

“Why does she was always push me?” I asked that question again. I didn’t understand why? I push myself back to the wall. I could feel these pointy things on my back, probably because of the small pieces of paper left there in the cold. But as always I didn’t mind the pain and I didn’t mind the cold. I was thinking why she acted like that? Out of all the people in the world I was the one person she always pushed back. And I was the one closest to her than anyone in this world, in this world that is.

“The moon again.”

I look at that big jewel in the sky and unlike her I hated the moon. I had this distaste of it since I was a child. I remember how my parents would punish me just because there was a full moon in the sky. My parents they were like werewolves who would turn into monsters once the full moon sets in. They would blame me, their son. They believed it was my fault why the moon was like that. But there was another reason why I hated the moon so much, a terrible reason.

I leave that place, the moon still looking down on me, watching me from the distance. Sometimes I feel something calling me from above, trying to tell me to back off and I didn’t understand why? Did the moon own her?

I walk in the lonely paths of this city. The canals weren’t as pristine as they were in the morning and the darkness made me think that I was in some kind of abyss. I make it to the middle of the city and there I see her house. It was standing as proud as always, the blue roof, the decked out exterior; full of angel statues and her lovely garden filled with beautiful Floras which almost killed her neighbor before, something she would really, really appreciate.

“Finally here,” I said to myself and I was angry as hell, part because of the alcohol and more because of the full moon. I knock on the door with a bang and then it suddenly rained. The water just dropped down from the sky. In one moment it was dry then in one second it just all became wet, the fates are really nice to me, won’t you agree? I stand there still knocking and I could see her room light up. She opens the door and smiles.

“You forgot the trunks,” she said with a big sigh,” go get them.” And then she closed the door again, not even thinking that I was out there soaking wet and probably dying because of the cold.

I look back, not minding the rain or the chilling winds. I was her butler and whatever she demanded I would do with no qualms whatsoever.

“Hey!” She shouted from her room, “Take this parasol and jacket.” She threw the two items too me. The jacket fell on the ground while the parasol hit my head with a thud. It was the second time this day something hard hit my head. And then she retreated back to her abode, the light closing. The light exited the darkness entered. But I still smiled, she still cared for me no matter how hard she treats me.

The next day followed. I felt a bit sick because of the rain yesterday but I had to do something important. The sun was blazing hot and the scene of darkness yesterday was blown away by the light. The pristine water of the canals and the alluring ocean like marbles of the city were now back to paint the place with their beauty.

I finished plucking up each and every Flora on her garden, by her request. What was left was a small barren patch of land, which was suitable for a building to me made. I started to work on the tower and used the trunks we got yesterday.

I toiled hard for every level, putting all my strength for the tower to stand up. Having knowledge in making buildings, I had an easy time hammering and building, as it was just a piece of cake.

I finally reached the fifth level when I stopped. The heat of the sun was burning my skin and needed to rest. I haven’t had sleep since yesterday and I have this weird burning feeling inside of me, probably because of the rain yesterday.

“Hey, you ok?” Josephine climbed the tower. She sat besides me, bringing a tray of carrot and apple pies she made.

“Eat some,” she said, wearing that familiar smile,” It’s delicious.”

“Ok,” I then got some pastries from her tray and munched one down. It had this weird taste. It didn’t really taste like carrot rather it tasted like honey mixed with poring jelly. Despite its weird taste, it tasted delicious.

“This is really delicious.” I kept on eating them. They were like some delicious concoction I could never get enough off.

“Thanks.” She then giggled and arced his head towards the ground.

“Do you think if you push me here I’ll die?”

“Perhaps.” I said with a muffled voice because of the pie in my mouth.” I mean, No. You’ll just end up with a broken anything.”

“That sucks,” She pounded on the ground.” Let’s make it higher.”

“Why would I push you anyway?” I didn’t understand her question. Of all the things she could ask; she asked about this. She was acting weird again. Ever since she knocked on that rainy night, she changed or probably she is finally showing her true self.

“Never mind!” she shouted with an angry voice,” Just get finished with this. Double the floors while I prepare for my departure.”

She left and went inside the house, leaving me with a thought. What departure was she talking about? Was she really serious about going to the moon? First she asked about the pushing thing and now she’s saying she going to leave for the moon? I couldn’t understand. I couldn’t figure her out. I could understand if this tower was a million layers height but only ten? What would she do, jump to the moon? But I didn’t care; I just wanted to finish this tower. I had something in stake in this tower. The reason why agreed is that maybe this is the key to her heart? Maybe she was just testing me. Checking if I really had the strength too pursue her?

“Five levels more.”

The shadow of the moon begun to appear, blanketing the city in its darkness. The pristine canals were no more and the crystalline qualities of the buildings were gone replaced by this somber and lonely shadow of the twilight.

I finally finished the tower. It was a simple tower made only of wood and nails. Each level had a small platform, a space enough for two people to fit in. And the stairs was a spiral that shot up to heaven. It was simple but I was proud of it. I made this tower for her and this was her gateway to the moon. I was thinking what he meant by going to the moon. I realized it might be just experiencing it in the closest possible way, in a way you feel like you are there.

“Ready!” she said. She was wearing a brown dress with a white apron on the center. Her hair was tied back and a clip which had this crystalline shards encased on it, was holding it all together.

“Let’s go to the moon.” I smiled and held her hand as I led her to the tower. We climbed the first level and I wanted her to hurry on to the top but she stopped.

“Wait.” She said with a lonely voice,” Let’s not hurry.”
I looked at her and saw her getting something under the apron she wore. It wasn’t really an apron; it appeared to be a bag. She produced a bottle of Chardonnay and neatly placed it on the floor. I found it weird but I had no guts to ask. We reached the next level and she stopped again and placed a glass of water on the floor. After that we climbed again and each level we stopped as she placed something, an item on each level.

We reach the top and I was thinking of the items she had put on each floor. First was the bottle of Chardonnay then the glass of water, the picture of her friends, her dolly Marry, a small piece of wood, the backpack of her dead pet Poringring, a mirror, a bag of Flora seeds and on the ninth level was a picture of her family.

I was meaning to ask but she was the first one to speak.

“You know this place is so beautiful.” I looked around the place and on the first I was here I never noticed the beauty that has been stored here. The horizon was painted with vivid pinks and blue colors. They were harmoniously mixed that I felt I was now starring at heaven. And right on the middle of those violet and blue clouds was the shining diamond in the sky. It shined brightly again, framed by the highlights of the peculiar horizon. It was beautiful but I still detested its sight.

“Maybe you’re asking why I left those items there.” She was also looking at the moon. I could feel her longing for it and it was as if she was just mere inches to it.

“There’s a reason why I wanted this to have ten levels. Each level represented the chains that bind me to this world.”

She then moved and slightly sighed.

“The bottle of Chardonay is the memories of my drunken pastime. I am sure you know that because we shared those memories together.” I only replied with a nod, I understood what she was saying.

“And the glass of water represented this city, Northend. It’s canals and ocean like marbles trapped me in this wonderland.” She looked at the city below and started to cry.

“The picture of my friends, all of you. You were the ones that have been with me through the toughest of times. In Comodo, in Izlude and even here; I loved you all so much but I have to throw this all a way.” The tears begun to fall even deeper, I wanted to comfort her but something stopped me. It was my soul and it wanted to hear everything. Ever last word like a cruel testimony of her soul to mine.


“The doll represented my childhood which was colorful and lovely. The piece of wood was a part of our house and it represents this place that I have always called home. The backpack is my dead pet that died a year ago. I couldn’t cope with her death but I have to go on. The mirror is myself and the bag of flora seeds is the flowers that I have tendered through all of my life, painfully feeding them and desperately keeping them alive. They represented my soul, my persistence to live.”

And the she stopped and begun to touch her face, the tears still tainting her face. ”My family is the most important thing in my life and I would do anything for them but this love must go if I want to leave. I am no longer part of the Aldebaraans. I must severe my ties. I am sorry.” The tears became much more deeper, her soul was crying out of despair.

“What are you talking about!”

“You won’t understand!” She then slapped me on the face. I just stood there staring at her. Why was she giving this all up? Why was she throwing her life away?

“What’s this talk about leaving? I thought I made this tower for you? To see the moon?”

“You don’t understand George, someone is waiting for me up there in a place called Normandy and ever since I was born it to this world I always felt that bitterness that I could never get back?”


”But there is no other world? Why can’t you appreciate what you have now! Come back Jospehine.” I said, pulling her towards myself.

“You’re doing it again.” She then pushed me away, like countless times before.
”You’re the most powerful chain in this world. You keep me miserable by keeping me here like a jailed dog.”

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you noticed it? I keep pushing you away in hopes that you’d leave me alone. But you were persistent and the reason why I really came knocking to you at that night was for you to finally end it. I hate you George, you make me miserable!”

Again, I didn’t know what to say. All this time I thought this was just a test but I was wrong, every single time. She came back to end it, to be set free. But I didn’t want to. I wanted her to be mine.

“Curse the moon!” I shouted in the night sky.” It took my parents away and now you!”

I could see her face drowned by sorrow. She looked at me with pleading eyes, begging for freedom. But I was selfish I always kept her, treated her like merchandise that I owned. But I wasn’t ready to let her free. Not now, not ever.

“Please George.” She then hugged me and started to whisper in my ears.” Set me free. Stop pulling me away and start pushing me back. I feel miserable in this world and I want to leave. Help me!” I could feel the droplets of her soul running down my shoulders, each drop sinking into my skin like painful shots of misery. I couldn’t take it, I just can’t.

She moved back and stood at the corner of the floor. She looked at me with her pleading eyes and I could feel her soul shouting to mine. Was I ready? Was it time?
I move to her and hug her for one last time. I could feel her soul lighten up.

“Goodbye”

And with one tap, one gentle push, she was finally in the moon.


~Fin

Note: I was trying something new here. I don't know if I did it right though. Oh well atleast I finished it.





Comments : 6 Into Memories
A Season Has Passed
Posted by Revolving_Drum at 10:46 AM on May 22, 2005

The scorching heat of the summer is slowly disappearing and with it the memories it has been holding.

I guess the past summer wasn’t really what I had expected. Remembering my old post on what were my plans this summer? Well, I never really got to do much of them. Lets add that fact that my grandma died and it made this summer all the gloomier. Lets not forget the startling news that my father lost his job again. And then there’s my Tito who still is suffering from Diabetes.

I guess this layout of mine is a fitting image of what my summer has become. Sure it’s cheery at some parts but like the Victorian London- it’s dark, damp and gloomy.

I just hope the coming rain will wash all the bad memories away.

Not all of my summer was washed in misery. Like this layout of mine, happiness still lingers despite the dominant darkness that has happened.

****


There was Cheska’s debut which I really had fun even without the alcohol. Just proves that you don’t really need alcohol to have a good time. You just need people who already are drunk minus the alcohol (malokong tao).

Then on our grandmother’s funeral, we really got closer to our cousins. It’s a nice thing that you get to spend sometime with your cousins; they’re like barkada but with your blood.

Movies were a past time again. I would usually watch with my friend Ge in Gateway Mall. During summer I have watched this movies; Interpreter, Star Wars, XXX2.

I liked the Interpreter, it really echoes what I have passion for- International Relations.And Star Wars is something I grew up with, so no matter what people say I give it thumbs up. XXX2 was a bit shady but I had fun watching it nonetheless. I realized while watching movies, in order to really have fun with it you should watch it with no biases, no expectations and no barriers to muck up your experience.

We now have a new dog. He’s cute but very annoying in the morning, especially because of its wails and barks. But he’s still cute.

****


*Sigh But all of this can’t really redeem what has happened.

I could hear the drums of the coming rainy season, slowly entering our world. It’s a sad thought but then again even if classes opens tomorrow and even if storms will once again engulf the nation at least time has passed, and probably time will heal the scars left by the previous summer.
****


Oh fuck, I lost my EAF!!!
****


[b]If anyone could help her please do contact her family.[/b]

Hi,

I am Anj, a 21 year old girl from the Philippines.

I am so sad to say that my Mama fell ill with an unknown tumor. It's most probably nasopharyngeal tumor and can be a cancer if it's malignant. Please do take a little time to read the page I made about it. We really need all the help we can get.

Here's the link: http://www.mamafund.cjb.net/

I encourage you to send this email to your friends, families, groups, everyone you know... because I love my Mama so very much and now is the crucial time that she needs help. She's been helping out people all her life, and this is the only time she needs to be taken care of. Please DO read the page and pass it to everyone you know. Thank you.

I also suggest signing up for the mailising list included in the page so that you will be kept updated with Mama's progress. It's going to be a grueling fight for her life. And I want YOU to be a part of it... so we can all pray together for her safety, and hopefully save her from the clutches of this life-threatening disease.

I greatly appreciate taking the time to read this e-mail. Bless you.

Sincerely yours,

Angeline "Anj" Viray
21 years old
Quezon City, Philippines





Comments : 2 Into Memories
First Day Funk My Ass
Posted by Revolving_Drum at 03:23 PM on May 23, 2005

Today didn’t really feel like the stereotypical, “First Day”

I did get to hear that god awful, “First Day Funk”. My friend bombarded me with this tune while we were waiting in line for adjustment and man did it irritate me as hell.

The new school year, 20005-2006 started but it felt very old. It really does not feel like a new day rather it’s just one of those days that I have to live with.

Boring?

Perhaps, but only half of the day where I did the routine stuff; Billiards, Videoke, Eat, Talk (I have a four hour break, and it sucks big time.) We’ll the froshies really didn’t strike me anymore, thery’re jjust new people in DLSU whom I have to get used with.

It’s just weird how the upper crust always discriminates against the new ones. The pride of seniority. Don’t say that you don't feel the same? Because we all do.

It’s good that I got to see Monica again in Agno. We decided to eat in Munch Alley, EGI. I don’t like EGI that much. I like the ambiance but the strain on my wallet is just too big. But I decided to follow Monica anyways; I prioritize friends over money. It was a nice chat. We talked about the car show last summer. Then we talked about the anorexia bulimic girl. Then we talked about our allowance, and how her allowance was kinda big for our wallets. And then it ended with some banters about her supposed LOA last term.
I like talking to Monica, I don’t know why? Its not that I am in love or anything, its just that I like conversations with her? Weird?

When classes ended I decided to hang out in Don Don’s crib somewhere near Mindanao Avenue. It’s a nice house, with fully air-conditioned interior, something all of us sweat soak Filipinos wish for.

I got to see his “gun” something Don has been telling me for the past few weeks. I really am not that happy he got one but he told me his reason and I understood.

After that we went on a wild goose chase. We were trying to find her mother in two groceries, first was Circle C and then Cherry. We went back and forth and damn was I tired.That was until, when we finally gave up we saw this sleek and black Cefirio parked near the exit and we had to park again.It all ended up in finding his elusive mother and I finally got to eat! Hopiang Pina and Shawarma Rice and thus my stomach was fulfilled.

The only thing I really didn’t to achieve today was to go to Temple and watch Rooster.I was hoping that Kyra would come with me but laziness got to her sister, *sigh But it’s all-good I was tired when I got home.


Darn that song is playing in my head again.

All I could say is first day funk my ass. I'll kill myself the moment I hear that song again.










Comments : 11 Into Memories
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