Ganito ang nangyari nung isang madilim na gabi (or hapon ata yon) sa mga eskenita at computer shop ng Taft Aavenue.

“10 minutes na lang!”

Naghahabol kami ng deadline nun. Wala ang oras para tumining ng porno o kung ano man sa internet- kailangan matapos na ang dapat matapos.

At ang hinahabol namin ay yung paper naming sa POLIDES. POLIDES? Ano yun? Political Destiny? Ulol, Politics and Interior Design? Basta kung ano man toh yan ang malupit na subject na pinamumuhunan at nasa ilalim ng dakila at matinik na si Pedro.

“Five minutes nalang chong!”

Lecheng printer yan ayaw gumalaw ng matino. Pagkabagal bagal. Pinagisipan nalang naming ng group mates naming na pumwesto na sa mga lugars sa loob ng DLSU- parang baton race. Pero d bale may alas kami, dalawa sami ay track, lupit tumakbo(pwera ngalang baka mabanga ng track pag tumatawid)

So tumakbo siya, hinabol papuntang Miguel ang lungaan nung si Pedro. Pero nung dumating kami- late na pala- 5 minutes late in fact.

“Late Analysis is No Analysis”

Yan ang huling mga salita ni Pedro or Jun na papasok sa utak ko. Paulit ulit na pinapaalala sa utak ko. Nanaginip pa nga ako tungkol dyan at nandoon lang siya habang lumilipad sa langit "Late Analysis is No Analysis"

Olats kami sa paper- 85% ang kailangan sa finals. Bukas na ang judgement day/course card. Pagdasal niyo na lang ako kay Santo Papa.

Tagumpay


Isang saliting umaalab sa ating puso. Ito ang ating ninanais araw araw, habang tayo’y nanaginip, natutulog, nagaaral, nakikipagsex at ano pa man.

Tagumpay sino bang may ayaw?

Tumagumpay ako ngayong araw na to sa isang matinding pagsubok. Natatakot ako sa mga nalipas na araw tungkol sa aking mga majors subject- delikado- nakakatakot- hindi ako pepwedeng bumagsak. At dito ako lumabas na tagumpay. Nang makuha ko ang mga papel, walang lumabas na tigre- walang olats- walang zero- panalo.

Political Design: 1.0
Political Economy 3.0
Polical Philosophy Two: 2.0
English Two: 2.0
International Relations: 2.5

Tagumpay nga! Ngunit bat ganun ang salitang ito? Bakit namimili ang tagumpay? Bakit hindi pwede lahat manalo- kailangan lagi may matalo. Kahit sa basketball, volleyball, chess at pagmamahal- lahat may matatalo- olats kung tawagin.

Talo

Natalo ang dalawa kong matalik na kaibigan. Mapanganib ang kanilang sitwasyon. Yung isa dalawang bagsak sa majors, yung isa naman bawal nang bumagsak kahit isa. Hindi ko kaya ang nangyayaring ito. Kahit nanalo ako parang lugi parin- parang natalo pa rin ako.

Hindi ko mainitindihan- bat ba palaging may naiiwan, nadudulas, natatlo. Ang mundo ba ay isa lamang laro? Kailangan may malugi? Sa buhay- sa tunay na buhay, may naiiwan talaga- at parang makamit ang tagumpay dapat may mahuli nga. Walang champion pag wala siyang natalo, walang 1st place pag walang second. Palaging ganito.

At aalahanin ang pagkatalo ng aking mga kaibigan, hindi ko malubos maisip na ganyan talaga ang mundo- na ang malakas nag nanalo,ang mahina natatalo.

" The strong shall live and the weak shall die", sabi nga ni Shishio

Mahina sila sa utak munit alam ko ang kaibigan ko, nagaaral yan kahit hindi makaisip ng mabuti- kaso natalo parin.

Ganyan nga ang mundo, dapat may matalo bago may manalo. Nanalo ako, natalo kaibigan ko- parang talo rin ako. Hay buhay.

Lola Sense Tingling

I was walking in the night; the moon bathing me with its peculiar white light of warmth yet has this fleeting cold feeling. I was trying to sneakily enter my own home, trying not to rustle attention. But I knew something was watching, waiting.

Mama sense tingling

Whenever anyone enters our house its as if some kind of protective security barrier is breached- we were the criminals and our grandma was the hardened cop but how? Its just instant,once you opent he gate her eyes suddenly pop opens and surprise she’s there welcoming you. She couldn’t possibly know. Her room is far off from the gate- she has a hearing deficiency and to top of that she likes to sleep- and she sleeps hard, dead hard.

This leads me to think of theories on how my grandmother can see our every move.

1. She’s a CIA operative

Ok far fetched but I think she has installed security cameras everywhere in our house, this is so Meet The Parents. That is scary, she might be filming us in our rooms- in our “alone” times- damn, disgusting.

2. She’s a mutant cockroach

Ok, a cockroach before- probably a mutant cockroach. Ala spider man I believe a radioactive cockroach has bitten her and now she has her senses tingling.

3. She has a criminal ring in the vicinity of Project 4

Kinda like a mafia but ghetto style (old school as well, Jurassic infact) Ok she has this ring of old people. I don’t know but I think she’s the ring leader- whatever they do its none of my business or so she say. (ooh My Grandma’s a Gangster)

4. Robot cyborg from the Future

Enough of those conspiracy theories I think she’s a robot cyborg sent to the past to kill Juan Conrado. And we’re just her hapless pawns.

*Fires mecha cannon

As you can see this is a very boring day that leads me to go to fantasyland, again.

Happy, happy, happy. Mushrooms flying, scintillating.
Dogs barking, I am sulking.
Thinking of fairies, dropping on canaries.

Damn boring day.

You sit there on your own P.C thinking of your girlfriend, lunch and other routine things but it hasn’t occurred to you; the world is about to end.

A meteor plunges to the earth, a vile virus breaks out and sends a massive holocaust to the world, a zombie apocalypse happens and a tsunami occurs- end of the world scenarios, so scary yet so endearing. And you’re right smack on the middle of it.

But the question is, so, the world has ended? What will you do now?

You open your eyes to the new world. The computer you had, destroyed. The house you have been living in for the most of your life- ruined. The carinderia of Alin Popyang, destroyed, her usual calderetas and bulalos never will see the light of day. The world- is dead, and you’re still alive.

What will you do now?

I don’t know myself. A post apocalypse world is filled with one thing- despair and its counterpart, hope is dead. Maybe that’s what we need to find in this barren world- hope. But do we live in a apocalyptic scenario now? Maybe not you, not me, not anyone here in tabulas.

I talk about people who have no computers to be destroyed; no houses that could be ruined and they cannot even afford to buy Aling Popyang’s bulalo and caldereta.

I talk about the walking dead- not zombies or vampires. I talk about the people on the streets who witness apocalypse everyday. The only friend that they have is despair and hope has all together abandoned them.

I talk about who sleep on the cold paved walks whose only meaning in life is just to breath and eat. Their dreams now driven to the dark abyss held by the snake called despair.

What Abaddon has imposed this apocalypse on them?

Is it society? Is it them? Is it the government?Is it god? Or is it us? I don’t know why they have been led to such lives but one thing is certain hope is not truly dead. Like sleeping beauty only sleeping in a silent forest somewhere out there.

So what do you do now?

Like a prince in shining armor, do you wake up the sleeping rays of light?

But how?

How can you unlock the hope that these people have so long hidden? How?

Through a kiss..

And more importantly love....

Show to them that someone cares, someone sees them, someone notices their apocalypse..Their end. Hoping that someone would wake up their sleeping hope.

So what do you now?

Nanonood ba kayo ng sine?

Ah oo naman, sino bang hindi? Napakatangang tanong.
Pero ang mas tanga ay yung isang commercial na napanood ko (bago yung film sa loob ng movie house).
Alam niyo ba yung commercial na sinasabi ko

1.At eto ang storya ng dalawang gugong na babae. Nasa kama yung isa, yung isa kararating lang.

Girl With Donut: Gusto mo ng donut?

Girl Nakahiga: Uy thank you

Girl With Donut: Alam mo gawa yan sa katas ng lumang dyaryo at papel

Girl Nakahiga and Donut: *smile


What the Fuck! Gawa sa katas ng lumang dyaryo ang donut!

Alam ko yung tinututkoy ng mabuthin nating Mayor si Sonny Belmonte(mabuthin nga ba?) Pero talagang sablay tong infomercial na toh.

Gusto kong tanong sa Gonuts Donuts sa Araneta kung gawa nga sa katas ng dyaryo ang donut.

San kaya gawa ang Cake?

Akala ko naman walang titra sa bulsa ko ngayong summer pero mali ako.



A.Una ay ang mga walang kamatayang outing sa Puerto.

1. H.S Barkada
Nagyaya ang dalawa kong kaibigan na si Micheal at si Alberta
(Si Mon di nanaman pwede dahil baka magka tsunami daw, ulol, heheh)
Price:1,500 ang estimate ko

2.Don Don(H.S Friend rin/College friend)
Nagyaya si Don Don na sumama ako sakanila.. Kasam sina Sasa,Steph,Ej,Ronald,J,Mikha.
Price: 1,500 ang estimate ko

3000 deducted, if I decide to go to both

B.Pangalawa ay ang mga mag beberdi(birthday)

Name:Cheska
Date:April 23:
Regalo koending worth 500

Name:Gerald
Date:April 22
Regalo Ko: Something from Adiddas worht 500

Name:Soleil
Date:April 20
Regalo ko: Baka stuff toy worth 500

1,500 deducted

Mga Gimik
Yaya si Jahra sa sunday sa greenbelt. Conservative estimate:
500 php
Overnight kila Don Don: 200 php

Fitness and Health

Boxing: Ok sana kaso mahal yung sa libis: 3,000 php

I need money.. Buti nandyan sina Estelle at Raffy para tulungan ako magpalago ng pera(Sana nga kaya)

Choice


Here am I again in this situation. I have to choose right now when to go, and with whom to Puerto. Group A is with one of my best buds, Don Don. And group B is with my best buds in High school.

There’s also group C,D. C is with my college friends, Paul, Ge etc and D is with my teammates in debating before.

I hate this when this happens.. my friends mean a lot to me and I don’t want to destroy any of our relationships.

Ok so here’s the problem. If I wanted to go to both I would be wasting money I don’t have yet. (It really pays to be rich. I wish I were one.) If I choose group A, it’s sure ball but it’s very much expensive to go with them. Add to that I’ll be missing Ge’s birthday and group D’s debut.

If I go with group B it’ll be cheaper and none of group C and D would be disturbed.
And the problem is that Don Don might feel I am avoiding him- how many times have I said excuses to him, for not going with him during gimiks…. Those were valid reasons but they were too many. I think he’s already getting mad.. who wouldn’t.

But then again if I go with them I’ll be making that a big sin against my friend Ge because I’ll be missing his birthday. And I don’t want our friendship to be destroyed, add to that we’ve been having quarrels frequently.( Which gets resolved, but…

Now, I’ll be choosing If I will go with A or B.

Manure

My brother and I have been fooling around with the word Manure.

Manure= shit.

And we’ve been tripping with our maid as well.

“Tess, alam mo ba ibig sabihin ng manure” I said.

“Ano yon?”

“Manure ibig sabihin gwapo!” my brother replied.

“Tess manure ba si J-an?” I said.

“OO manure yan.”

*laughter

Me: “Tess may bago nang Pope.”

Tess: “Talaga??”

Ako: “OO si Pope Manure 2004.”

Tess: “Hindi!”

Ako: “Oo, kulit.”

Tess: “Hindi, aplido nya lang yan.”

*laughter

J-an: “OO si Pope Manure 2004, ayan o nasa T.V”

*tingin sa t.v

Tess: “OO nga,”

J-an:“O tama d ba, Pope Manure 2004!”

Tess: “Hindi, 2005 na! Pope Manure 2005. Wala talaga kayong alam.”

*laughter

I want to write a fiction set in a Victorian era but with gadgets like discmans(or is it discmen?), turntables etc but all fashioned in a victorian sense.

It's a story about rival gangs in London who have music as their medium for supremacy.

Yeah I know its weird but atleast its a different road from the usual dark fictions I write.

*
Never knew that my writing as a passtime would become a passion. Guess you will never know what you will be in the future.

Now I'll be writing it ASAP.

One hit and one puff.

Three seconds is all it takes to bring you to heaven. To the place of magical stars that shine on your very eyes. That place where everything is happy and ecstatic. Where the world greets you not with lonesome dusty paths but with star filled, fantasylands where mushrooms talk and security guards have wings and faces of dogs.

One kneel and one bow

In seconds you’re thrust into a world of perfection. Where stars lie on your face, greeting you to the omnipotent far above. Angels laugh, demons cry, he greets you with the sincerest smile. She shines on your face the future of your life and you ask for his help and ask for his protection. And it all takes just a few minutes to last in that ephemeral world, where god is good and man is forgiven.

One hit one puff, one kneel one bow?

What’s the difference?

I’ve been trying to find the real meaning of faith. But alas I have been treading the path of question these past three years. And it all began with one phrase.

“Religion is the opiate of the people.”

Who wouldn’t know this famous quote of Marx? That religion is just a mere ideology, part of the super structure created by those in power. And what led him to say this? It is because people have been driven to escape the problems of real life through religion, believing in a perfect world, which Plato would be happy to hear.

Should we believe in a world of ideas? That perfect world which we should strive to get into? Or should we believe in the world of forms alone- in what lies on our eyes right at this instant; the deaths in Iraq, the poverty in the Philippines, the rising oil prices and the fires in Binondo. Have we forgotten what has happened? Or did we just shun them altogether trying to forget the problems facing us through escapes that we have made.

And Marx is wrong; religion has no monopoly on such. In today’s world the escapism has evolved- through mass media. Computer games such as ragnarok etc have blinded the youth. Fantaseries and Chinovelas have made people indifferent to what lays right on their face.



No I am not saying escapism is truly evil but like drugs excess of such leads to naivety to the world; something, which should never happen at all.

The stars would continue to lie; and lie and lie they would until finally they begin to blind and there starts the end- the true start of misery.

Changing my layout, again. Under construction Thanks to kyra for the old template.

It was like passing through some alternate universe. I felt like I was almost in Greenbelt but I wasn’t. Guess where I was?

Greenhills.


It has been very long since I passed this old Mecca of mine and I begun to worry earlier at what would surprise me today. I didn’t expect Greenhills to expand this far, even reaching Virramall the once mighty tower of this complex. Now it is completely bathed in a drab blue sheet that it looked like on of those magic acts where a person is covered in a thin sheet and then disappears without a trace. Much could be said to Virramall, because like those stand up magicians in Las Vegas they were ready to get rid with the old and in with the new. I could only guess what would Virramall change too? I just hope like those magic acts it could be turned into something beautiful, like a white pidgeon.




But much of my time wasn’t solely concerned on looking at the renovation of Virramall, I came there for one thing- to eat. There was a whole bevy of restaurants, neatly placed on the corner of the roads. Ice Monsters, who call out to the busy pedestrians with their monstrous ice concoction, very tempting this summertime. There were also the typical yet irresistible fast-food chains, ranging from the jollycious Jollibee, scrumptious chickens of KFC and mouthwatering burgers of McDonald’s. And for the more affluent folks, there’s a whole line of “elite” dinners near Theater Mall.

But I wasn’t looking for these kinds of food; I was only after one thing- something oriental. And such was a perfect choice- it was a choice between Teriyaki Boy and Yoshinoya. I had doubts about Terriyaki Boy, since that story my friend told me about the shard of glass in her aunt’s meal and as much as I liked food I didn’t want to risk myself from that kind of service. So I opted to go to Yoshinoya, a chain that I would always eat at whenever I go out.



Ok, at first I thought my decision was correct, but when in fact I was wrong- I didn’t enjoy it as I expected. I don’t know the reason really. Probably I already got sick of the taste. Or maybe it was the environment, especially since there was this “thuggish looking guy” who seemed to eat like a barbarian.

But my trip to Greenhills wasn’t all about food. In fact I wanted to go on a new adventure. I wanted to be like Magellan’s crew who would circle the globe or at least in my case Greenhills and so I tried. It was a different kind of world- I had to rediscover Greenhills. Before I have already mastered the whole place but now everything has changed. I was like a foreigner on an alien land. It was weird. Something I have grown up with became a stranger.

Before Greenhills was the “family place”. The ever looming Sunday was the time when we would land our tiny feets on that ever so familiar place. It was smaller back then and as I grew up it begun to change as well. One of the significant changes where the destruction of the old theatre, now turning it into the more beautiful theatre mall. Then the second real big change was the burning of Virramall(which I believed happened many times already). One of the most familiar places back then was Viramall, 3rd floor. When the playstation was very, very powerful that greenhills became a Mecca for it. But soon the fire ravaged that floor to kingdom come, destroying Lucas Arts, the place which we would always go to buy CDs.

Now what the future holds is far different a more metropolitan Greenhills catering to people in a very classy way. I could only smile as I walked the familiar walkways of Greenhills, the usual lane that we would jog on every morning before, now replaced by a more ambient feeling though not that complete but its on its way to becoming something great.

But I sure miss those

DVD, X , DVD, X guys.

I did encountered one but without the X. I wonder what happened to their usual advertising shouts. I guess I really need to rediscover greenhills again.