A nigga- feeling japanese with a samurai sword, who masturbates at the fact when he kills those vampires. Who’s that nigga? It’s Blade you fool.

Ok, The first was was good enough to merit my interest, the second one failed because of those unclean graphics, and now the trinity has come- and let me tell you, I wish it never came.

Ok, the basic premise of Blade was that here’s a half vampire, half human who is also a vampire hunter. Who wouldn’t like that? It’s a cool idea, but then again I haven’t read the comics yet, so let’s reserve this review for the movie version.

What the Blade series always offered to me was good bloody action- and in “trinity” they did not fail me in that department. The action in Blade Trinity can be compared to those Nintendo side-scrolling games, from the likes of ninja turtles to the likes of Moonwalk by Micheal Jackson. It was all unbelievable mayhem. Blade here was like an unstoppable force, barging along countless number of anonymous henchmen, killing them one by one- in a snap.

But action can’t even save this movie in my eyes- Sure you could dazzle with me with those cool weaponry and special moves but like those side scrolling games this movie had no story to even support it.

Basically the story was this, we are presented with a notion that Dracula or rather Drake- cula was from the ancient sumerian region, near the river tigris and Euphrates. Cool isn’t it? But let me tell you the idea was cool but the execution was zero. What we have here is unlike the gentleman, classic Dracula what we have is an Arabian boy, who sucks blood, but he even sucks big time with character portrayal. Dracula in this movie is a no-brainer, he had no character, and he was stupid. Basically the only words that I remember from that poor excuse, as the vampire overlord is honor, shit now he’s talking samurai as well. He’s like the reverse version of Blade- blade gets seismic orgasm when killing vampires, drake-cula on the other hand gets magical orgasm when he kills people. And that’s it, no secret plans, no back drop of his past, no even explanation why he even slept for a thousand years. What’s even more dumb is that he get to transform into a Diablo-esque monster. Sure its cool but it’s just that no matter how fierce looking and abominable he may seem, he still had no character to fill the void. Well he did have a character but it was a stupid character to begin with. He talks of honor and the like, but where is the honor when he killed that blind woman. What’s his honor anyway, he didn’t even explain that, he just kept on babbling it.

Then there were the other characters; Van Wilder is still type cast as Van Wilder- he can‘t get out of his role as a comedic stud. Then there was that girl with the bow and arrow- she was cool, but the arrow, the bow and the discman where the only things that I could remember form her(well she’s hot though, girls with bows and arrows turns me on XD) The there was Blade- there’s only little that I could say about him- M.C Hammer with a bad hairdo and a sword. The only characters I cared about this flick are the blind woman and her daughter- the others I don’t have a care in the world what happens to them.

On the visual side it did a very good job except for that one scene where drake-cula and blade were jumping to each other- man, did that look fake as Michael Jackson’s face.
But yes, you’ll be please with it visually but that’s about it.


To sum it up, Blade Trinity was like a Biker boy- Vampire Hunter cross over. With all those pimping songs, and popping music I couldn’t care less about this film- it sucked big time, I should have watched kung fu hustle.